Tag Archives: sex

Sexy Bunnies

10 Jul

Miss February

There’s nothing quite like Powell’s (the epic city block of new & used books in Portland) but with all the rain and potential beach-time in Hawaii, I’ve had to quest for island bookstores for some cheap, ratty paperbacks to brave the elements.  Of the places the boyfriend and I have visited so far, Rainbow Books & Records is the only one that has something Powell’s lacks: le porn.

Tucked away in the back of Rainbow (not a gay bookstore, alas) is a fairly sizable wall of porn stocked with used magazines, VHS tapes, and DVDs.  The VHS tapes were a tad dusty but the DVD section was pretty well stocked with your typical cheesy porno selection.  But the magazines…were fabulous. Most of them were totally old-school and damn cute. If it weren’t mildly creepy buying the equivalent to a used, glossy tubesock, I would have walked out with an armload.

I’ve never been one for getting my porn in hard copy, but last week while zoning out to a few of my friends killing zombies on their xbox, I grabbed a Playboy mag from their coffee table and started flipping through (if I’m gonna be bored, I might as well be bored and horny).  If you’ve never tried to read a Playboy I’ll save you the disappointment right now: there are maybe ten pages of porn.  Maybe.  The rest is skeezy ads and side-(fake)boob.  But! There was a saving grace: the old-school playboy bunnies in the middle.

Furry, curvy, and real, the bunnies from the fifties and sixties were adorable.  Their backdrops and settings were less trucks and American flags and more libraries and living rooms and their makeup was meant to look theatrically sultry, not streetwalker slutty.  What’s funny to me is that I don’t feel like “natural” women were more mainstream then than they are now.  Isn’t it funny to think that though we’ve made huge steps towards gender equality, the women appearing in porn now are more unrealistic than the one’s we see back in the 50s?  Not that I’d say these ladies are at all average, and they’re fake in their own ways, but their bodies seem a whole lot more attainable to lil’ ol’ me.

Anywho, off the soapbox and onto le sexy bits.  If you’d like to gander at some sexy ladies, I regret to inform you that I couldn’t find the segment in Playboy online that I looked at last week, but I did come across this album, which is perhaps a tad hotter.  Enjoy!

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Sex On Le Beach

5 Jul

Day Three on Oahu and I finally squeezed into my bikini and convinced the boyfriend to chauffeur me up to Hale’iwa for a dip.  Our favorite beach (okay, so I’ve only been there once) was almost empty and the smell of a few bonfire barbeques and the salty sea had my libido rearin’ to go.  Before you get your pants off, there was no sex on the beach.  Not the cocktail, and not the sex.

I’m not disappointed.  In fact, the boyfriend and I have a rule against sex on the beach; I’m not a big fan of crabs and he’s not a big fan of exfoliating his man bits.  I’m sure we’ll end doing it at least once if we stay in Hawai’i for the intended two years, but I’m just not thrilled about it. Sure, it’s romantic, makes for a great sexy movie scene, and it’s pretty much a requirement if you go on a tropical honeymoon, but meh.

Right about now you’re probably thinking this is the most boring sex blogger I’ve ever come across,  but! I am not alone (seriously, click that link.  It’s hilarious).  If you’re still absolutely convinced that sex on the beach is the most totally romantic thing you could possibly accomplish in your sexy life, I have waded through the seemingly endless sea of pornography and cocktail recipes to provide you with an informative how-to link on doing the dirty in the sand.

And  now for some sexy beach action from the movie rendition of From Here to Eternity:

Manly Sex Party? Mine’s Bigger.

21 Jun

While trying desperately to catch up on my twitter, I came across an article about Fleshlights.  I’ll read just about anything about sex toys, so of course I devoured it, but this part caught my eye:

“An all-heterosexual male gathering around sex toys?” Shubin considers. “Probably not ever going to happen.”

Aw, but why not?  I don’t have much insight into the male psyche, regardless of sexual orientation, but the first explanation that comes to mind is competition.  As a proponent of discussions about sex for the sake of sexy discussions, I’ve seen competition play a huge part in conversations about sex.  There are always going to be people who want to one-up every sex act their friends try out.

Really, I just want everyone to be having good sex.  Great sex.  A-mazing, wake-your-neighbors, break-the-furniture, scare-the-pets, mind-blowing sex.  If I think I’ve got something that will spice up your sex life, I’m gonna share it with you, but it’s not because I’m trying to hint that you’re having crummy sex to begin with.  Sex can always be better!

I used to know a girl who would always tell me that sex with her partner was the best there could ever possibly be for anyone.  Cool beans for her, but it stopped her from pushing herself sexually.  Any new technique I mentioned was met with a smug grin and her mantra: “I’m already having great sex”.

Maybe I’m missing the point. I mean, god forbid that anyone suspect you of being homosexual because you wank into a tube shaped like a vagina.  Everyone knows that women who get together and buy dildos are lesbians (insert massive eye roll here).  Though I suppose I can’t imagine any of my male friends getting together and having a sex toy party, it certainly would be interesting.

Anyway, if you’re not ready to invite your man-friends over for a sexy toy party, you might log on to one of the many forums for masturbation discussions (you can do it under a pseudonym!). Fleshlight even has one of their own (this thread kind of relates to this post, actually). Don’t feel left out, ladies.  There’s one for you too…oh wait, there are no posts on that forum.  Well, what did you expect from a website selling masturbation toys for men?

Sex & Lotion

3 Jun

I am obsessed with ALL THINGS COCONUT.  Maybe it’s my imminent move to Honolulu, but I bought three variations of coconut body spray the other day (Hawaiian Coconut, Vanilla Coconut, and Pineapple Coconut).  Nobody needs that much coconut (or body spray, for that matter).

But my FAVORITE coconutty thing is this lotion.  I can go through a tube of this stuff faster than I go through toothpaste.  After the shower, before bed, on my lunch break, before sex, this lotion and I make sweet, sticky love.

Though I would love to write about ways to use coconuts while having sex (cut a coconut in half and bang the halves together to emulate the sound of a horses hooves…), I thought it would be ever so slightly more helpful if I wrote about the DO’s and DON’T’s of using lotion in the sack.

DO give a massage.  There’s nothing more fantastic than a sexy rubdown after a long day of work or just a day apart. The massage itself doesn’t need to be erotic (since you’ll probably be ripping your clothes off after a half hour of touching each other anyway) but if you want to throw some tantra into your bedroom, I have a couple links for you.   Erotic massage for men here and women here. But before you break out the lotion and start rubbing, keep reading!

DON’T use just any lotion for genital massage.  When you purchase massage lotion, you need to check if it’s safe for internal use before you start rubbing it into your lover’s sensitive bits. Even if the lotion claims to be safe for internal use, test a small area of your lover’s skin before dumping the bottle between their legs.  Nobody likes when sex turns into a hospital visit. That said…

DON’T use lotion as lube.  Lotion isn’t made to be used for slicking up your lover’s cock or your favorite sex toy before penetration.  For that, you’re gonna want some lube.  There are lots of people on the internet who will tell you that lotion is perfect for anal sex (hell, I used to do it!) but please, just buy yourself a bottle of lube.  If you’re going for the moisturizing effect on your bum hole, why don’t you try a lube with some added aloe?  This one is a personal favorite.

DO use lotion after shaving your delicate parts.  Razor burn is icky and painful…and icky.  Moisturize before, during, and after the shaving process if you plan on de-hairing your Berry Patch.  Afterwards, walk around naked for a bit.  Wearing tight clothing (like panties) after shaving can irritate your recently exposed skin.  Plus, who doesn’t get a little thrill from being naked?

Finally, DO pay attention to what ingredients go into your lotion and lube.  If you wouldn’t put it in your mouth, don’t put it on or inside you (you’d be amazed at how many situations where that logic applies).  I’m not about to start guzzling lube, but I won’t put anything on my lady bits that I wouldn’t mind getting in my mouth.  Your skin may not have taste buds, but the things you put on your skin are entering your body.

Okay, now go have some fun with lotion!  I’m going to go fantasize about a coconutty cocktail on the beach…

She Bop Trip & New Toys

20 May

Having waited patiently all week for my day off, it finally arrived with sunshine and a light breeze.  I finished the portrait that’s been haunting me and hopped on a bus to She Bop (because what better way for a hard-working barista to spend her day off than buying toys for her sexy bits?).

She Bop was just as fantastic this time around as the last.  They helped me pick out this lube after sampling all the fancy bottles.  It feels like oil (which is what I was initially expecting with lube) and is made from glycine soya, which means you can use it with latex because it’s made from soy bean oil. I will definitely be combining this wonderful massage oil-like purchase with a fantastic new erotica collection tonight….

As for the toy, I bought something excessively glittery.  Le Boyfriend and I have been tossing around the idea of anal sex and I figure I’ve got about a month before I meet up with him on Oahu so I bought this little something to get used to the idea.  I’ve done the dirty from the back door a few times in the past, but it’s never been the most comfortable experience.  At this point, I’m chalking that up to a lack of experience and research.  Updates to follow.

So that’s been my sexy day.  Got a little more of Story of O read on the bus today and I’m crossing my fingers that I’ll have a review from Ms. Sex eLibrarian by the end of next week.  Stay tuned, my sexy readers!

All About Kink: An Introduction

14 May

I want to buy these...

It all started in high school (doesn’t everything “bad” start in high school?).  It might have been the plethora of young adult vampire novels I devoured (yeah, there were addictively effeminate vampires before Twilight) but I prefer to think it all started on one rare occasion that I had the house to myself for an afternoon.  And I,of course, seized that opportunity to masturbate.

As a teenager without a credit card, I very quickly ran out of “mainstream” porn clips to facilitate my wantonness.  Not content to rewatch what I’d already seen, I decided to branch out and venture to the  mysterious section called “BDSM”.  Though the quality was low and the clip was only a few minutes long, I was immediately enchanted with the power play and bondage gear.

Today I am a sexually liberated young woman, but I have yet to go beyond the occasional bedroom handcuffing and bondage film.  My ex and I owned a collection of the basic bondage gear (though we rarely used it) but he took that when we broke up.  So now I ogle the collars, cuffs, gags, harnesses, and clamps when I’m shopping for sex toys, but I never buy them.

Pamela Madsen’s Shameless finally got my mouth watering again, but not quite in the way I was expecting.  Madsen was coached by professionals in domination, culminating (in the book) in a sort of BDSM conference in San Francisco.  That’s a far cry from getting your boyfriend to tie you to the bed and go a little rougher than usual.  Needless to say, I’ve started craving something more.

So I’ve decided to go out and get what I want.  I love my lovers and we have amazing, passionate sex together.  Sometimes it’s rough and sometimes it’s sweet, but it’s always fun.  I don’t expect them to change to accomadate my broadening, kinky horizons (Sure I’d welcome a little more D/s roleplay in the future) and I’ve realized that it’s okay to satisfying and seek my BDSM release from the people who know how.

Okay, you’ve been prepared.  If the blog gets a tad kinky from at time to time, you’ll know why (not that I need to make excuses).  I am looking forward to this journey.  It’s been a long time coming.

Sliquid Organics Test Run

14 May

Last night, a lover and I finally introduced a fancy new lube into the bedroom.  (Yipee!)  Since it was my first real bottle of lube, I don’t have a whole lot to compare it with, but it was definitely worth the mini-splurge.

At first I thought the gel was drying up a bit too fast (and unfortunately it turned slightly tacky when it did so), but after adding a couple extra dabs I realized I just hadn’t put enough on to begin with. At the time of purchase, I didn’t know this lube was made to be thicker to facilitate anal sex (and I’ll definitely be trying it with that in the future) but my partner and I pretty much just stuck to the basics.

The gel was completely odorless and very smooth to the touch.  In the shower, we found out it was a total breeze to clean off.  Also in it’s favor, this lube is totally vegan and organic and great if you’ve got allergies.  The bottle is 100% RECYCLABLE and the label was printed on partially recycled paper (yeah, yeah, call me a hippy all you want). All in all, this Sliquid Organic Gel was a treat.

My next purchase will be a silicone or combo lube (even though I won’t be able to use my little silicone vibe with it. More incentive to buy one of the glass dildos I’ve been drooling over!).  I’d like to find out how different brands and blends compare in longevity to this water based version.  I think I expected something on the oilier side when it came to lube.  Alas, much like the endless search for the ultimate shampoo or vibrator, finding the perfect lube for every occasion will doubtless prove to be a quest of epic proportions.  I can hardly wait!