Tag Archives: masturbation

Manly Sex Party? Mine’s Bigger.

21 Jun

While trying desperately to catch up on my twitter, I came across an article about Fleshlights.  I’ll read just about anything about sex toys, so of course I devoured it, but this part caught my eye:

“An all-heterosexual male gathering around sex toys?” Shubin considers. “Probably not ever going to happen.”

Aw, but why not?  I don’t have much insight into the male psyche, regardless of sexual orientation, but the first explanation that comes to mind is competition.  As a proponent of discussions about sex for the sake of sexy discussions, I’ve seen competition play a huge part in conversations about sex.  There are always going to be people who want to one-up every sex act their friends try out.

Really, I just want everyone to be having good sex.  Great sex.  A-mazing, wake-your-neighbors, break-the-furniture, scare-the-pets, mind-blowing sex.  If I think I’ve got something that will spice up your sex life, I’m gonna share it with you, but it’s not because I’m trying to hint that you’re having crummy sex to begin with.  Sex can always be better!

I used to know a girl who would always tell me that sex with her partner was the best there could ever possibly be for anyone.  Cool beans for her, but it stopped her from pushing herself sexually.  Any new technique I mentioned was met with a smug grin and her mantra: “I’m already having great sex”.

Maybe I’m missing the point. I mean, god forbid that anyone suspect you of being homosexual because you wank into a tube shaped like a vagina.  Everyone knows that women who get together and buy dildos are lesbians (insert massive eye roll here).  Though I suppose I can’t imagine any of my male friends getting together and having a sex toy party, it certainly would be interesting.

Anyway, if you’re not ready to invite your man-friends over for a sexy toy party, you might log on to one of the many forums for masturbation discussions (you can do it under a pseudonym!). Fleshlight even has one of their own (this thread kind of relates to this post, actually). Don’t feel left out, ladies.  There’s one for you too…oh wait, there are no posts on that forum.  Well, what did you expect from a website selling masturbation toys for men?

Sex & Lotion

3 Jun

I am obsessed with ALL THINGS COCONUT.  Maybe it’s my imminent move to Honolulu, but I bought three variations of coconut body spray the other day (Hawaiian Coconut, Vanilla Coconut, and Pineapple Coconut).  Nobody needs that much coconut (or body spray, for that matter).

But my FAVORITE coconutty thing is this lotion.  I can go through a tube of this stuff faster than I go through toothpaste.  After the shower, before bed, on my lunch break, before sex, this lotion and I make sweet, sticky love.

Though I would love to write about ways to use coconuts while having sex (cut a coconut in half and bang the halves together to emulate the sound of a horses hooves…), I thought it would be ever so slightly more helpful if I wrote about the DO’s and DON’T’s of using lotion in the sack.

DO give a massage.  There’s nothing more fantastic than a sexy rubdown after a long day of work or just a day apart. The massage itself doesn’t need to be erotic (since you’ll probably be ripping your clothes off after a half hour of touching each other anyway) but if you want to throw some tantra into your bedroom, I have a couple links for you.   Erotic massage for men here and women here. But before you break out the lotion and start rubbing, keep reading!

DON’T use just any lotion for genital massage.  When you purchase massage lotion, you need to check if it’s safe for internal use before you start rubbing it into your lover’s sensitive bits. Even if the lotion claims to be safe for internal use, test a small area of your lover’s skin before dumping the bottle between their legs.  Nobody likes when sex turns into a hospital visit. That said…

DON’T use lotion as lube.  Lotion isn’t made to be used for slicking up your lover’s cock or your favorite sex toy before penetration.  For that, you’re gonna want some lube.  There are lots of people on the internet who will tell you that lotion is perfect for anal sex (hell, I used to do it!) but please, just buy yourself a bottle of lube.  If you’re going for the moisturizing effect on your bum hole, why don’t you try a lube with some added aloe?  This one is a personal favorite.

DO use lotion after shaving your delicate parts.  Razor burn is icky and painful…and icky.  Moisturize before, during, and after the shaving process if you plan on de-hairing your Berry Patch.  Afterwards, walk around naked for a bit.  Wearing tight clothing (like panties) after shaving can irritate your recently exposed skin.  Plus, who doesn’t get a little thrill from being naked?

Finally, DO pay attention to what ingredients go into your lotion and lube.  If you wouldn’t put it in your mouth, don’t put it on or inside you (you’d be amazed at how many situations where that logic applies).  I’m not about to start guzzling lube, but I won’t put anything on my lady bits that I wouldn’t mind getting in my mouth.  Your skin may not have taste buds, but the things you put on your skin are entering your body.

Okay, now go have some fun with lotion!  I’m going to go fantasize about a coconutty cocktail on the beach…

Loving The D Today

18 May

And by loving it, I mean I just ordered my copy of Candy Rain Magazine, a sexy, pornographic publication that highlights the all-mouthwatering boner.  Since I missed out on the first issue I couldn’t tell you exactly what goes on between those glossy covers, but my mouth is watering just writing about it.  In honor of this tasty purchase, here are a few ways to appreciate the D in your life (and if you’re one of the many who just don’t have the need for any penis in your life, skip this post altogether or just read #5):

1. If you’re one of those aforementioned people who would in fact like to poke a penis in their mouth (and you live in PDX) sign up for SheBop’s fellatio workshop in June!  According to their event description, the workshop is also open to people who like to stick their penises in other people’s mouths, which sounds pretty righteous.  Giving head to a dude who doesn’t know what he wants can definitely be fun at first (because you can shock the pants off of him with your mad skills) but gets old when you want to branch out and he’s never heard of the thing you’re trying to put your tongue on.  I am SUPER EXCITED to attend.

2.  Buy a Tenga Egg for a man friend.  They’re essentially little disposable, ribbed, tubesocks that are lubed for masturbation purposes.  I’m still trying to coax one of the men in my life to give it a shot.  If you’re feeling slightly more adventurous (and generous), these look pretty sweet too.

3. LUBE.  That is all.  (He will know what to do with it.)

4. If the D in your life is a D that likes some tattooed lady bits to get off to, buy him a month of Suicide Girls.  What a nice way to unwind.

5.  Last, and pretty much most important of all, do you know what misandry means?  I just learned this word today on the blog Feminisnt and it means “hatred of males”, which is something I come across rarely but surely.  Don’t be hatin’.  Whether you want to poke a penis in your mouth or not, having one doesn’t mean you’re a hateworthy person.  Misandry is definitely as sucky as misogyny so don’t do it.

On that note, have a rockin’ day and take some time to appreciate the sexy bits of life!

Happy National Masturbation Month!

12 May

Okay so maybe I’m a tad late on the uptake on this one, it being the eleventh of May and all, but this month is National Masturbation Month!  Epic, right?  And who doesn’t like to anger the pope (besides most Catholics)?

Being a complete and utter nerd, I’ve been wondering about the history of this national month of masturbation.  Where did it come from?  How is it publicly celebrated? Well, my dear readers, I am here to give you some answers.

According to the all knowledgeable Wikipedia, May was declared “Masturbation Month” in 1995 by Good Vibrations.  It sounds hokey, a sex toy store pushing masturbation, but in actuality they advocated for people to get “masturbation sponsors” in order to raise money for charities.  Four years later, in 1999, the Masturbate-a-thon was born.  Created by Dr. Carol Queen and Robert Lawrence, this event is habitually takes place in San Francisco where awards are given for duration.  But the best part of the Masturbate-a-thon?  For $25 you can be a voyeur to just about the sexiest fundraiser there is.

This year the Masturbate-a-thon will be held in San Franciso on May 21 and 22; the first day will be restricted to women and couples and the second day will be men and couples. You can read more about the event here

Welp, that’s just about all I can dig up on the history of this sordid month of self-lovin’ at the moment.  I’ll try to post some tidbits on events outside of SF as I come across them throughout the month.  Until then, enjoy the wanking!

Lubity Lube Links

10 May

It seems that lately lube is being advertised as the hottest accessory out there.   No matter which blog or magazine I’m perusing, lube is hopping off the page at me.  I’m beginning to wonder just what I’m missing . . .

Timaree’s interview with a spicy sex toy reviewer got me thinking about it (and if you’ve never listened to one of her podcasts, you’re really missing out).  Then I picked up a copy of Cosmo and was surprised to find a page of sexy tricks to do with your lube.  As an artist, the idea of dipping an expensive paintbrush in lube and painting your partner with it is just naughty enough to tempt me.  The icing on the cake was reading SheBop’s Lube101.

I ended up buying an organic Sliquid option.  Since I haven’t had a chance to give it a good playing with, here are some more fun ways to think about lube:

An A-Mazing website full of community reviews (my new favorite online sex toy store).  Just click the lube that looks cute to you and read what your fellow sexy masturbaters have to say about it!

A frilly piece on the frustrations of not getting wet enough.

And finally, this one isn’t strictly about lube, but it’s from Sex with Timaree and it talks about cotton snatch and alcohol consumption.  I friggin’ love that blog.

Know Your Lady Bits

14 Apr

In the last few days, I’ve thought about my vulva more than any normal person should.  I don’t mean that I’ve been obsessing about the way it looks (A lot of women worry about that. Don’t).  I’ve been thinking about touching it.

Masturbation is a healthy part of sex and while I’ve never had a hard time touching my clitoris, I’ve never been comfortable or aroused by putting my fingers inside my vagina.  In fact, up until recently I found it slightly gross.  Don’t get me wrong, the sensation of having it done to me is excellent.  But when it came down to doing the deed myself, I balked.

How could a sexually liberated woman who is almost completely without boundaries have trouble putting her fingers inside her vagina?

It’s simple: I never had the need to.

Condoms provided me with a birth control method that kept my cervix and I amicably separated.  Pads kept my uterus from causing mayhem and enabled me to deal with the blood once it had been separated from my body.  But when I switched my birth control method to the diaphragm, I suddenly had an incentive to get comfortable with my vagina and quick.  Inserting my diaphragm correctly is an integral part of not getting pregnant, and it takes a bit of finesse.

Am I crazy for having worried that a tampon could get lost up in the labyrinthine recesses of my insides? Maybe a little.  But realizing that I can reach up and touch my cervix has been like uncovering the rest of the map in a video game;  I know where the boundaries are and I can start to explore what’s going on in there for myself.

So take a minute and get to know your vulva if you haven’t already.

Has anyone else made some recent discoveries about her vagina?  Bought a new sex toy? Found a new way to masturbate?  Leave it in the comments or shoot me an email!  Maybe you’ll help someone else get a little more comfortable with her lady bits in the process.