Archive | June, 2011

She Bop’s Fabulous Full-Body Fellatio Workshop

24 Jun

No matter how good you are at going down and giving head, there’s always something new to learn.  BJs are admittedly one of my favorite sex acts and I’ve been earning my oral rep for the last six years.  Nevertheless, I can safely say that She Bop’s workshop, led by the spunky M. Makael Newby, was an amazing learning experience.  I don’t think a single person walked out of there without learning a thing or two about the art of the friendly trouser kiss.

I don’t want to spoil the workshop for those of you who couldn’t make it, so I won’t give you a blow by blow of what went down.  The candid unexpectedness of the whole event made the low-key vibe function;  there just wasn’t time to get uncomfortable or worry about what the girl or guy next to you was thinking.  Yes, there were fingers in mouths and even a few dildos (which  may or may not have been attached to a strap-on harness).  It was a damn fine time.

Whether you’re renowned for your face-numbing suction skills or you’ve only touched your partner’s dangley bits in the dark, you won’t be bored or left behind by this workshop.  I strongly encourage everyone to check out M. Makael Newby’s website and attend at least one of her workshops because she’s a blast.  And on top of it all, she wrote a choose your own adventure book of erotica.  Seriously, my hero.

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What Do You Know About Vasectomies?

22 Jun

While shooting the breeze at work yesterday, vasectomies naturally came up.  Okay, sex came up (of course), and then methods of birth control, AND THEN vasectomies.  Whatever.  Anyhow, it turns out that my coworkers and I have absolutely no idea what happens once that tube is tied (or cut or whatever). Being the researching hairpin that I am, I’ve compiled a set of tidbits about this procedure for your viewing pleasure.  As always, this shouldn’t replace extensive research and communication with a doctor for those of you considering this procedure.

What is a vasectomy?  Basically, it’s a procedure where the tube that carries sperm from the testicles to the penis is cut and sealed so that sperm can’t reach the ejaculate.  (Sorry for all the gross words in that sentence.  Tube? I mean really.)

Does anything come out when he comes if there’s no sperm?  Yup.  Only a small part of the semen is actually sperm to begin with.  The rest of that goo is actually produced by the seminal vesicle and the prostate gland.

Will my man-friend’s balls explode because the sperm can’t get out?  Nope. The testicles will actually just reabsorb the sperm they produce.

How soon can we start bangin’ without protection?  Depends on the dude, actually.  It takes a while for the sperm on the other side of the cut to make it’s way out.  Count on at least a couple of months and even then you need to have his cum tested to make sure it’s free of any baby-making juice before you throw out those condoms.

Is it reversible? For all intents and purposes, no.  There is an incredibly expensive surgery (you’re looking at around $10,000 out of pocket) to reverse the procedure, but even if it works there’s not a great chance of getting pregnant afterwards and it may only last for a couple of years.  The two ends of the cut tube VERY rarely grow back together of their own accord once they’ve been sealed.  What occasionally does happen early out is that a particularly athletic sperm will escape one end of the tube and make it’s way to the other, hence why it is important to get your partner’s semen tested for sperm after a couple of months.

Will he still want to bang me? I don’t know.  Infertility affects everyone differently, psychologically and emotionally.  I didn’t immediately come across anything that suggested a loss of sex drive would be imminent after the vasectomy.  It looks like you’ll have to wait at least a week or two before he’ll be ready to bone you, though.

What are the alternatives? Condoms! Okay, just kidding. There are actually a few alternative procedures out there, but from what I can glean they’re still in the clinical trial phase.  The Intra Vas Device (IVD) seems to be farthest along.  This procedure involves the insertion of a device that would block the flow of sperm, removing the necessity of cutting the tubes.  It could also make reversal more possible.  Check out this website for a great overview.  I included this AMAZING, reversible option in a previous post.  It’s also still in the clinical trial phase so I’m trying not to get too excited (but it’s awesome).

There are a lot of resources out there for dudes considering a vasectomy.  I found this one easy to navigate and understand, but a little googling can point you in your own direction.  Good luck with whichever contraceptive path you choose and always remember to watch out for those pesky STIs.

Something to add? Email me at pineapplesexbomb@gmail.com.

Manly Sex Party? Mine’s Bigger.

21 Jun

While trying desperately to catch up on my twitter, I came across an article about Fleshlights.  I’ll read just about anything about sex toys, so of course I devoured it, but this part caught my eye:

“An all-heterosexual male gathering around sex toys?” Shubin considers. “Probably not ever going to happen.”

Aw, but why not?  I don’t have much insight into the male psyche, regardless of sexual orientation, but the first explanation that comes to mind is competition.  As a proponent of discussions about sex for the sake of sexy discussions, I’ve seen competition play a huge part in conversations about sex.  There are always going to be people who want to one-up every sex act their friends try out.

Really, I just want everyone to be having good sex.  Great sex.  A-mazing, wake-your-neighbors, break-the-furniture, scare-the-pets, mind-blowing sex.  If I think I’ve got something that will spice up your sex life, I’m gonna share it with you, but it’s not because I’m trying to hint that you’re having crummy sex to begin with.  Sex can always be better!

I used to know a girl who would always tell me that sex with her partner was the best there could ever possibly be for anyone.  Cool beans for her, but it stopped her from pushing herself sexually.  Any new technique I mentioned was met with a smug grin and her mantra: “I’m already having great sex”.

Maybe I’m missing the point. I mean, god forbid that anyone suspect you of being homosexual because you wank into a tube shaped like a vagina.  Everyone knows that women who get together and buy dildos are lesbians (insert massive eye roll here).  Though I suppose I can’t imagine any of my male friends getting together and having a sex toy party, it certainly would be interesting.

Anyway, if you’re not ready to invite your man-friends over for a sexy toy party, you might log on to one of the many forums for masturbation discussions (you can do it under a pseudonym!). Fleshlight even has one of their own (this thread kind of relates to this post, actually). Don’t feel left out, ladies.  There’s one for you too…oh wait, there are no posts on that forum.  Well, what did you expect from a website selling masturbation toys for men?

Contraception Babble

21 Jun

I’ve been whining about the lack of non-hormonal birth control methods since I turned 18 and my mom took me to my first annual pelvic exam.  Barf inducing cramps and a voracious libido made me a prime candidate for the pill, but my mom wisely didn’t allow me to fill that prescription.  I later found out how much higher my risk of stroke would be if I were taking high doses of estrogen (the pill increases everyone’s risk for stroke, but if you smoke or have migraines with aura, your risk doubles).

Five years later, I’m a proud diaphragm user.  It’s not particularly hip or hands-off, but if it was good enough for Carrie Bradshaw and Betty Dodson, it was good enough for me.  The biggest problem with the diaphragm is that it needs to be used in conjunction with spermicide.  Contrary to what was widely believed in the 80’s, this slimy, sperm killing gel DOES NOT protect against STDs.  In fact, the main ingredient of spermicide, nonoxynol-9, has been shown to cause sores and strip the vaginal lining, increasing the risk of contracting certain STDs. I’m still wading through a few studies about diaphragm use without spermicide, but I don’t have enough to share with you all yet.

So, what about the IUD?  Well, I don’t have one yet partly because I can be a chicken shit and it’s supposed to hurt, but also because the hormonal method (Mirena) is, well, a hormonal method, and the copper IUD (ParaGard) could potentially increase my already mind-numbing cramping during menstrual bleeding (I refer you to the “chicken shit” comment).  The IUD really hasn’t been popular in the U.S. since the infamous “Dalkon Shield”, a dangerously poor design that resulted in a number of fatalities back when the technology for this form of contraception was much  more primitive than it is today.  I, for one, am beginning to think we need to move on from all that and start looking at the IUD as a viable method again. This dense, but fabulous article agrees.

Oh yeah, I haven’t talked about hormonal methods.  I don’t really want to, so you should just go read In Our Control.  Okay, okay, in short the pill just isn’t as good for you as everyone wants to tell you, but it’s a lot more profitable to sell you a pack of pills every month than it is to explore alternative methods of contraception.  That may sound a tad bitter.  Oh well.

Now for the cool stuff.  CONTRACEPTION FOR BOYS! YEEEEES I’m serious.  No, I’m not talking about condoms.  Check. This. Out.  Okay so it’s not approved yet, but it’s an awesome idea.  For more on The Parsemus Foundation, go to their website and poke around.  They are truly fabulous.

And for those of us who like to kick it old school, a condom I will probably never be able to afford.

Packing, etc.

16 Jun

So the much anticipated move to Hawaii is finally happening.  Packing is hard but saying good-bye is even harder.  I keep telling my friends that I plan to psyche them out and disappear without having to say any real farewells.  They haven’t taken kindly to that idea.

Really though, I don’t feel like I’m saying good-bye to Portland, my best friends, or my lover.  It’s more like, “see you next week! I’m off to do some soul searching.”  I guess I’m the only one who sees it that way.

I want to tell everyone that I’m going to Hawaii to become a writer.  That I’m going to Hawaii for love.  That I’m going because I have to.  I really don’t have a plan, but it feels like the beginning of a fantastic adventure.  There are always tears at the beginning of those.

In the end, the point of this post is to inform my readers that I will be very busy over the next two weeks and therefore somewhat less likely to post.  It’s a bit of a roller coaster for everyone involved, but I promise that I’m not saying good-bye!  I’ll be back to my lascivious postings in two shakes.  In the mean time, inspirational erotica is much appreciated at pineapplesexbomb@gmail.com.

Everyone Knows What You Do With That Hitachi

11 Jun

Good Vibes Personal Massager Model VB-8

Aside from excessive amounts of lounging and reading, there’s nothing better than a little antique shopping when you’re on vacation.   And what better for a sex blogger to buy at an antique sale than a vibrator?  Oh, excuse me, did I say vibrator?  I meant personal massager, of course.

Okay, this vibrator is actually for my shoulders (only because I got it used and I don’t trust the electronics of it near my nether parts) but if you’ve been keeping up with She Bop’s blog, you’ll see that even the coveted Hitachi Magic Wand was once marketed as a personal massage device before it exploded in the porn industry. Actually, electric vibrators are still marketed as massage devices for the most part, but we’ll come to that in a bit.

Since we live in the modern day with artsy new toys and you probably wouldn’t go back to the fifties for the vibrators even if you had a choice, I found a few places where you can gander at some scary contraptions for your naughty bits.  Mike’s Antique Vibrator and Quack Medicine Museum consists of photos and descriptions of vibrators from one man’s collection.  He has some seriously funky stuff on there and it’s definitely worth a bit of browsing.

Then there’s the slightly more famous Good Vibrations Vibrator Museum.  Joani Blank, the founder of San Francisco’s revolutionary sex shop, started the collection of antique vibes which is now carried on by the company and displayed in their stores.  On the Good Vibrations website you can read about how “hysteria” in women was treated with vibrators and how vibrators were marketed as household beauty appliances and cure-all’s.  You can also learn about the place vibrators hold in our culture today.  And if you’re not completely freaked out by the idea of a vibrator after taking a gander at their galleries, they provide a handy link to their more contemporary vibes.

I think it’s amazing that we live in a culture that allows us to shop for vibrators as vibrators.

Wait a minute, I distinctly remember a sticker on my first vibrator that said “novelty” and I know Sharper Image still sells “personal massagers” that we all know are taken home and put immediately down someone’s pants.  Seriously, where else besides Cosmo (who published a cute article last month) and your favorite reviewer’s website have you seen a real ad for a vibe?  Maybe the vibrator isn’t a “cure-all” (though there are days when I would sincerely beg to differ) but it’s still a pretty darn good time.  And if you think you’re playing high and mighty by grabbing  a personal massager, you don’t have me fooled.

Seaweed Is All the Rage

6 Jun

If you’ve recently been lube shopping or just catching up on the latest and greatest in sexually transmitted ickiness (that’s what STI stands for, right?), you’ve probably come across some info about Carrageenan.  Extracted from red alge, this sexy sounding compound is popping up in personal lubricants all over the place.  So, how do you sell a lube that’s made out of algae to the masses?  Well, marketing it as a miracle drug seems to be working pretty well.

In recent studies, carrageenan has been shown to inhibit the transmission of HPV (a really scary virus).  I don’t speak Science, so I read this article to get a little perspective.

Normally, HPV attacks cells by attaching to proteins on their surface and then chemically manipulating access to the cells. Carrageenan thwarts this process by attaching to HPV and preventing its entry into cells.

Okay, so that’s AWESOME. And lubricant companies are in luck because most of them were already using carrageenan as a gelling agent in their products anyway.  Isn’t it a beautiful coincidence that something that was already present in a sexy lube is also helpful in inhibiting an un-sexy disease?

Let’s be realistic: carrageenan doesn’t replace the HPV vaccine.  On the other hand, that vaccine is very, VERY expensive.  For those of us who are too poor or unable to access proper gynecological attention, carrageenan could be a nice layer of added protection.  That said, there isn’t a lube out there that has gone through a clinical trial that could recommend it for an effective HPV inhibitor.

When carrageenan actually finds its place in the miracle drug market, there shall be much rejoicing.  BUT! That doesn’t mean we should stop wearing condoms and tell our partners to go ahead and skip that STI testing we wanted them to get done.  HPV is just one of the many monsters under the bed.

Enough of that.  The next lube on my “to buy” list is actually a carrageenan containing mixture from Sliquid Oranics.  I’ve read great things and it includes a bunch of seaweed extracts in the mix for an extra slick factor.  On the off chance that it’ll prevent me from getting HPV, I’ll take it…but I’m still going in for my annual.