Loving The D Today

18 May

And by loving it, I mean I just ordered my copy of Candy Rain Magazine, a sexy, pornographic publication that highlights the all-mouthwatering boner.  Since I missed out on the first issue I couldn’t tell you exactly what goes on between those glossy covers, but my mouth is watering just writing about it.  In honor of this tasty purchase, here are a few ways to appreciate the D in your life (and if you’re one of the many who just don’t have the need for any penis in your life, skip this post altogether or just read #5):

1. If you’re one of those aforementioned people who would in fact like to poke a penis in their mouth (and you live in PDX) sign up for SheBop’s fellatio workshop in June!  According to their event description, the workshop is also open to people who like to stick their penises in other people’s mouths, which sounds pretty righteous.  Giving head to a dude who doesn’t know what he wants can definitely be fun at first (because you can shock the pants off of him with your mad skills) but gets old when you want to branch out and he’s never heard of the thing you’re trying to put your tongue on.  I am SUPER EXCITED to attend.

2.  Buy a Tenga Egg for a man friend.  They’re essentially little disposable, ribbed, tubesocks that are lubed for masturbation purposes.  I’m still trying to coax one of the men in my life to give it a shot.  If you’re feeling slightly more adventurous (and generous), these look pretty sweet too.

3. LUBE.  That is all.  (He will know what to do with it.)

4. If the D in your life is a D that likes some tattooed lady bits to get off to, buy him a month of Suicide Girls.  What a nice way to unwind.

5.  Last, and pretty much most important of all, do you know what misandry means?  I just learned this word today on the blog Feminisnt and it means “hatred of males”, which is something I come across rarely but surely.  Don’t be hatin’.  Whether you want to poke a penis in your mouth or not, having one doesn’t mean you’re a hateworthy person.  Misandry is definitely as sucky as misogyny so don’t do it.

On that note, have a rockin’ day and take some time to appreciate the sexy bits of life!

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